The new 5-series is really a luxury executive car with the appropriate amount of power -- depending on what works for you. I might be wrong but its really not designed to hit the corners hard but refined for comfort with some cool tech toys and a conservative external look. If you're looking for something "tossable" at this size I suspect you'll have to move to the M550 or even the M5. At this price point, I would look at the M3 if I needed fun on the corners with 4 doors.
BTW, your rant is always appreciate.
