Quote:
Originally Posted by Samurai of 2day
This is my first time posting on this thread, but I have been trolling on bummer post for a lobg time now.
Tonight is the first time I have been drunk for a long time, even thought I during all weekend every weekend.
I have been visiting this thread once Ina while for a while and I decided to post for the first time because I am drunk for the first time without company to distract me.
The golck 30 ikeep under my bed is calling to me. I have suffers loss a few too many times, and I have thinking about this for as long as I can remember.
I think the only reason I haven't taken myself out yet is because maybe I'm too scared to do it, or strong Ugh not to. Not sure which one.
I won't do it toning, because I have to do Lau dry tomorrow, but more and more I'm realizing that there is no need for me to stay here. Truth be told, I NEVER belonged here tobegin with. Should ojust be a man and go through with it, pe continue to go through themotinons until the next deployment or caged decides that motorcyclists done deserve to be on the road or some knuckhead decides that whT I have in. Y pocket is worth a life sentence? Of course I'm not so fluid with my thought? But I'm drinking and no company to keep me occupied and I was looking pictures of cars on this forum that I would never be able to have so I'm torn betewwn my normal thoughts and thought of hope for what is the reason why e work so hRd when no one appreciates what we do... unless it sounds nice to say we support the troops or thank you for your service when at the same time the ones who are SUPPOSED to stick with you always turn their back on you.
Forgive the rant. I will Ben
Better tomorrow, wetber I pull the trigger ot not.
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Trust me, it's not worth it. Things may seem shitty (especially with depression), and it probably seems hard to find joy in anything. You may feel completely alone most of the time, but truth be told, you're not. I've thought about suicide a couple of times in the past. But when you break everything down, it just isn't worth it. Hell, you can always drop everything and just go live out in nature or travel by foot/car/whatever across the nation. Meet new people, enjoy the beauty in this world. Or find a new career path, find new things to do in your current career. Try new things. Make a list of all of the things that are awesome in life, things you can possibly do. Take up a new sport or hobby. There are literally so many good things and great experiences out there, but if you take your own life away, you'll never ever get the chance to do those things.
One of my former best friends comitted suicide earlier this year. And even though we had fallen out a couple of years back, it still hit me pretty damn hard and made me re-evaluate everything. He had so many opportunities, so many people who cared about him, whether he knew or believed it or not. Life is so precious. And I guarantee you that no matter what you're going through now, it is only temporary. And you've got plenty of good times and experiences coming your way, whether you know it or not.