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      10-26-2014, 12:02 AM   #309
NEFARIOUS
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Samurai of 2day View Post
This is my first time posting on this thread, but I have been trolling on bummer post for a lobg time now.

Tonight is the first time I have been drunk for a long time, even thought I during all weekend every weekend.

I have been visiting this thread once Ina while for a while and I decided to post for the first time because I am drunk for the first time without company to distract me.

The golck 30 ikeep under my bed is calling to me. I have suffers loss a few too many times, and I have thinking about this for as long as I can remember.

I think the only reason I haven't taken myself out yet is because maybe I'm too scared to do it, or strong Ugh not to. Not sure which one.

I won't do it toning, because I have to do Lau dry tomorrow, but more and more I'm realizing that there is no need for me to stay here. Truth be told, I NEVER belonged here tobegin with. Should ojust be a man and go through with it, pe continue to go through themotinons until the next deployment or caged decides that motorcyclists done deserve to be on the road or some knuckhead decides that whT I have in. Y pocket is worth a life sentence? Of course I'm not so fluid with my thought? But I'm drinking and no company to keep me occupied and I was looking pictures of cars on this forum that I would never be able to have so I'm torn betewwn my normal thoughts and thought of hope for what is the reason why e work so hRd when no one appreciates what we do... unless it sounds nice to say we support the troops or thank you for your service when at the same time the ones who are SUPPOSED to stick with you always turn their back on you.

Forgive the rant. I will Ben
Better tomorrow, wetber I pull the trigger ot not.
Dude, don't go that route... Suicide is a long term solution to a short term problem. Just look at the bright side of things and count your blessings. My best friend is a 13F in the Army, and as soon as I get my ass in gear I'm thinking of joining the USAF... But don't let anybody tell you that your service is unappreciated, and the ones that don't appreciate it ignorantly think your absence things are going to be "OK"... They just don't realize that if it wasn't for you or even possibly the butterfly effect thereof, that some crazed Islamic extremist would continue to wreak havoc on US soil, or the area next to their house could be your next AO if it wasn't kept in check.

I lost my pops to suicide and believe me, as much as he thinks "nobody would give a shit if he died" it's fucking hard and the most selfish, coward thing a normally strong person can do. I still have nightmares about him even as short as a week ago, and it's been a year and 4 months since he aimed a sawed-off at his head, and while he was alive and had depression, it was so bad that I pointed my USP .45 at myself, but sold it when I realized what the hell I was about to do.

I look forward to seeing you alive, don't do this.
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NEFARIOUS would totally rock the dreads if he could.
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