Just to add an update and close this thread..it's a few weeks since apple took my phone and did something but won't say what.(see above).
I also stated using Apple Music a few days after my last post instead of Spotify which allowed me offload the library from my phone and it's still available as a stream
Zero drops … literally none since the above swap to Apple Music.
So either apple fixed the phone or the key here is don't try to keep your library on the phone and stream it to apple car play as it can't handle the data stream over the WiFi router in car.
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