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      10-04-2019, 01:47 PM   #72
King Rudi
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^ The foreigner comment above reminds me:

I used to work for some Italians. Many of them did not speak English, so the company that we worked for paid for a very attractive Polish translator to teach them English. Mind you, the translator wasn't great at her job. I did happen to catch her explaining to them that Americans have a tendency to refer to objects in a female sense. Such as: She's a beaut, She can hold up to 12 crispy boys, etc. From this day forward, they referred to every thing as "She's." The amount of tools, objects and materials that were brought to me followed with, "Uuuuh, she's broken" was staggering. Every-damn-thing was "She's." Then we moved on to "Is This." I'm not sure how this got started, but it spread like wildfire. "Is This" was used anytime that one of them agreed with you. (i.e. Me: It's hot today Them: YES! Ees Thees!) From this variation came the elusive and seldom heard, "Is Never This" (this doesn't require an explanation in usage....still damn funny to hear in conversation though.)

Now, on to the vulgarities. Teaching these fine Italian gentlemen how to curse in English was, hands down, one of the most fun social experiments in my lifetime. After them picking up on the most used words, occasionally they would become confused in the order of the wording or just phrasing in general.

Two that stand out the most were:
"This man is head of penis!"
So I had to ask, "Antonello are you telling me that this man is a dickhead?"
Antonello: "Yes!!! This man is very much dickhead!" "He is hole in my ass!"
Me: "Do you mean asshole?"
Antonello: "Fuck you Mr. Jody! Now is you being hole in ass!"



Those guys were hard to work for and a person had to be able to take a cussing from them without laughing at them in the process. After they were done, you either gave it right back to them or they wouldn't respect you. If you didn't get back in their shit (without crossing a line, this was important) they would walk all over you. After you cussed them back and possibly raised your voice a little, the exchange may go on a for a few minutes, then eventually they would buy you an espresso, smoke a cigarette with you, then want to talk about sex acts performed with their wives and girlfriends & expect you to share stories also. At the time, I hated working there, but I thoroughly enjoyed working with the people that I worked with. I do miss those "Bastardos."
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