Quote:
Originally Posted by Rmtt
I know it sucks, but that's why I said you can't take it seriously. It seems like she was a nice person and just didn't know how to break it off with you and not feel bad.
You remind me of my brother when he was in this situation. So no offense meant.
He was so hell-bent on being with someone, that any women he went out with could tell right from the beginning that he was desperate. And not just for sex, but for company as well.
A little secret...women are like men in that sense. When I was dating if I got that "vibe" that they were even the least bit desperate, it was a deal breaker for me even just to hang out as I knew it would be hard to get them to leave me alone without me being blunt and hurtful.
Never have all your "eggs in one basket". Keep reminding yourself that you are dating and not looking for anything serious and just let things happen. Have multiple contacts going at the same time if you can.
This is what happened with my brother. I tried to tell him how to act and present himself, but he didn't listen. So he ended up getting burnt so many times that he eventually developed a "don't give a shit" attitude which is what he should have had from the start.
After developing that attitude, that's when he started having better luck and attracting more women as they could smell his old "clingy vibe" from a mile away. He eventually found the right one and is married.
But it took awhile to get there. But then again...he isn't as good looking as I am!  |
This is really good counsel. You really have to meter your attention carefully, for all the reasons
Rmtt lists and also for your own safety and sanity. I know it's easy to get excited about something that shows potential. I've done it a bunch of times. But over-investing too early will drastically increase the potential for pain and equally importantly will create an impression of desperation, whether it's actually true or not. Desperation is a universal repellent. It's one of the great paradoxes of the universe; the more ready and eager you are, the less interest you get.
It's also good to remember that in any relationship, the party that demonstrates the least interest has the most control.
premier3is Man, sorry to hear the ride ended on that one. This one seemed promising. She may have been one of those super-friendly but conflict-averse people who have a really tough time saying anything that might make someone else uncomfortable. Dust yourself off and get back in the game, when you're ready.