01-31-2020, 01:40 PM | #5193 |
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That's a big 10-4. I dated a gal a few years back who was really cool but through 4 or 5 dates never even offered to leave a tip. Done.
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01-31-2020, 01:47 PM | #5194 |
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Here's something I've wrestled with for years. Does a prospective partner's financial status, at least relative to your own, matter to you?
I've drifted all over the road on this one. Does it matter to me? (Yeah, kind of). If it does, when and how do I bring it up? How much of a difference in financial status can a couple withstand, without it becoming an issue at some point? Would love to know how you folks have grappled with this.
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01-31-2020, 01:55 PM | #5195 | |
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01-31-2020, 02:00 PM | #5196 | |
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I think when any aspect of a relationship is out of balance, it creates strain. You're not equals, at least in that aspect. Good on you for dating up the food chain, instead of down. Not many guys can. Lots of women date guys who make more than they do, but not many couples the other way around.
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01-31-2020, 02:06 PM | #5197 | |
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If that were the case, I would have moved to FL with her, as that was what we were planning when she went ape shit, & then just live with one of my friends down there after we got there. She ended up moving to FL by herself. She showed her true colors in another way, though. She said to me that she should have picked a guy with a better job & money. I guess $ is the root of all evil. |
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01-31-2020, 02:10 PM | #5198 |
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Opportunity knocking, ASSuming you are above the subsistence level and she is down near it. You are then the person who showed her <operas, wine, car rides, vacations, THE WORLD> and she will be "GRATEFUL"
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01-31-2020, 02:12 PM | #5199 |
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01-31-2020, 02:14 PM | #5200 | |
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I just became poor. Seemed simpler. No, but in seriousness, I think it is an issue. Not for me so much in that I wanted her to make as much as me or more, but rather that I just wanted to see that she had drive and ambition and worked hard. And generally speaking, people with those attributes tend to hold down decent jobs, but it was more an attributes thing I was looking at. |
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01-31-2020, 02:17 PM | #5201 |
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Sure, and I'll enjoy showing her those things. But will I harbor resentment towards her, for having had to pay for all of it? I got that T-shirt.
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01-31-2020, 02:19 PM | #5202 |
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01-31-2020, 02:20 PM | #5203 | |
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01-31-2020, 02:23 PM | #5204 |
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Correct. And if you find that type of person you admire, money isn't going to be on your mind if you are paying. Because you'll see her as an equal regardless of her earnings, it will be the intangible (and tangible) stuff she brings to the table. Can't buy that. Money will be less important and her company will be more important.
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01-31-2020, 02:25 PM | #5205 | |
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01-31-2020, 02:28 PM | #5206 | |
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One of my current FWBs seems to be lazy with no ambition. She was a teacher in CA then moved back here to PA 3 years ago to live with her sister & still lives there. The reason? Migraines. We get it that they are terrible when they happen. However, that's not a reason to be a bum & collect my tax dollars aka disability for it. Go get a real full-time job. Not this nanny shit. I have dated women who get migraines & they all held down full-time jobs & normal lives & had their own places. Whatever, I have tried to talk sense into her & no change. The sex is good & she brings food a lot so whatever. It will never be more than this, though. She also has that annoying valley girl voice that us men do to imitate women...as her actual voice. Ugh |
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01-31-2020, 02:30 PM | #5207 | |
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I think your statement mostly applies to rich folks. Someone earning a modest living can't afford to pay for another lazy ass adult. |
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01-31-2020, 02:34 PM | #5208 |
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Most people who don't have a lot of money think that a lot of money would solve every imaginable problem. It doesn't. Look at all the lottery winners who crash and burn.
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01-31-2020, 02:38 PM | #5209 | |
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Those are people without common sense. Give me a lottery jackpot & it will not be wasted & I won't be broke ever. |
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01-31-2020, 02:42 PM | #5210 | |
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01-31-2020, 02:44 PM | #5211 |
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01-31-2020, 02:52 PM | #5212 | |
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01-31-2020, 03:30 PM | #5213 | |||
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01-31-2020, 03:39 PM | #5214 | |
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There is a big difference between someone who is hard working and smart with money and someone who is just lazy or a big spender. I have a few friends who have very good jobs, but couldn't budget to save their life. They might appear to be doing well but inside they are drowning in debt.
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