07-14-2009, 10:48 PM | #1 | |
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Confessions of an E90Post Shitter (funny shit)
So, im sitting down on my toilet right now, trying to take a nice shit. but no, for the last few months, my body and I have been fighting a war. I find myself shitting 3+ times a day, and not to much comes out. I am wasting far to much time in the toilet when i could be productive. Its not coming out easily, either.
Now, i dont mind spending hours on the toilet. Personally, i enjoy taking a shit because i feel like a million bucks afterwards. these days however, its a different story. but enough talking about me and my shitting problems. The real point to this thread is for me to share a website with all of you that still has me laughing. The OP has the same problem as me, and if you read the responses you WILL die laughing. this is a nice way to pass the time if your bored, to read through this thread. This is my favorite quote that made me laugh so hard that it allowed me to let loose a nugget of shit (the first and only one at this point). Quote:
Link to the thread: http://www.poopreport.com/Debate/Content/push.html
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07-15-2009, 11:15 AM | #4 |
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Read
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diverticulum http://www.medicinenet.com/diverticulosis/article.htm
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07-15-2009, 12:52 PM | #6 |
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my workout supplement super pump 250 causes unholy massive shits.
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07-15-2009, 01:28 PM | #7 |
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stolen from another similar post...
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07-15-2009, 02:43 PM | #9 |
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Here this should get you going.
http://www.colonblow.com/ http://www.hulu.com/watch/10304/satu...ive-colon-blow
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07-15-2009, 08:59 PM | #11 |
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I enjoyed your post Keymeyster. I get great ideas for the Off-Topic Discussions Board when I'm in the shower and the shitter. Then i get out of the shower and I get lazy and forget to post. Here are some i can remember:
Title: Piss in the shower Message: ever wanna piss so bad once you're in the shower but you can't get out without wetting the bathroom floor, so you squat down and 'AIM' into that black hole hoping that you get as much into that hole in an attempt to keep the smell out of the shower in case your significant other walks in and says "Are you peeing in the shower!??" Title: Shower Soap Message: For those of you who still use a bar of soap, how small does the soap have to get before you get a new one? Myself, I keep working that tiny soapbar until it can't create any more lather and gets lost in my pubes or the crack of my ass. I get deep thoughts on the can too: Title: Shit to death Message: Have you ever taken a shit in which you almost fainted? I went and did some research and a few famous people have died on the can. They had massive heart attacks cuz one of your central nervous systems passes through your asshole. (or something like that). |
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07-15-2009, 09:12 PM | #12 | |
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The piss in the shower thing, im not quite understanding what your saying. You mean while showering? once that warm water hits my body i instantly piss. I dont squat, i just aim to the hole. I couldnt give a fuck where it goes, im showering so i can just sprinkle water everywhere and clean it up. Shitting to death is no joke. one of my tenants died taking a shit in the bowl. Not cool. Isnt the CNS the brain and spinal cord? would it be at the end of the spinal cord or would it be your peripheral nervous system?
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07-15-2009, 09:13 PM | #13 |
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its the lack thereof. I am in Ny and got no links, so for now, im sober.
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07-15-2009, 09:17 PM | #14 | |
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07-15-2009, 09:20 PM | #15 | |
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holy shit, next topic of convo: breaking and pissing LOL. After i shoot my gun, there are usually 2 separate sprays of piss at once! and one goes straight, and the other goes in some fucked up direction which sprays everywhere. thats the only time i nmiss when i take a piss
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07-15-2009, 09:53 PM | #16 | |
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07-15-2009, 10:14 PM | #17 |
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lol there are some good reading in that thread! I'll make sure to bring the site up on my next shit
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07-15-2009, 11:03 PM | #18 |
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07-16-2009, 11:00 AM | #19 | |
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ohh yeah, i wouldnt mislead you bro. its so fucking entertaining to read it when taking a shit. Its as appropriate of a timing as one could possibly think of lol.
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07-16-2009, 12:31 PM | #20 |
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lol...my friend calls it super dump.
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07-16-2009, 01:53 PM | #21 |
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If I know I busted just before going to bed, when I stand up in the morning to piss I spread the tip opening a little, no more dual sprays. Seems a little ejac gets left in the tip and sticks the edges together or something. I just hate leaking all over my leg\shorts\robe
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07-16-2009, 02:35 PM | #22 |
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My shitting has been pretty good lately. Well packed. Three issues currently though...
-Taking a lot of pebble shits...IE just farts and pebbles. Kind of like brown marbles. -I still seem to get a lot of doody on index finger while whiping furiously (after sitting-down urination) -It's prime swamp ass season. |
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