08-28-2017, 06:31 PM | #1 |
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G31 530d xDrive Estate: The best car in the world for Jeremy Clarkson
Featured on BIMMERPOST.com Some may find him irritating, but I always liked his different approach to car reviews and he always gives his real opinion, no matter the car company. The fact he loves the Lexus LFA says a lot to me ;-). The below is as glowing a review he has given... THE CLARKSON REVIEW: 2017 BMW 5‑SERIES (530D XDRIVE) TOURING From second fiddle to rock guitar god Published 21 August 2017 By Jeremy Clarkson FOR MANY years I have argued that, all things considered, the BMW 530d estate is the best car in the world. It’s fast, handsome, astoundingly economical, very comfortable, reliable and genuinely good fun to drive. And now there’s a new version that is supposedly better in every way. But can you, I wondered, get Alex James from Blur into the boot with one of his guitars? And then could you get the record producer William Orbit into the middle of the back seat, and could they play The Chain by Fleetwood Mac as we were driven from one party to the next? Like any sensible chap who’s looking through some beer-stained goggles at what was obviously going to be a big night, I made sure a driver was on hand to deal with the business of moving me about. The trouble is that these days a driver is a bit like a packet of cigarettes at a party: round about 10pm everyone suddenly decides they’d like to help themselves. So that’s why, as we left dinner, Alex and his wife asked if they could cadge a lift. That would make four of us plus a driver, and that’s no problem at all in the big Beemer. But then I noticed Mr Orbit looking a bit crestfallen, so he had to come too. And for some reason that isn’t clear, both he and Alex had guitars. “It’s OK,” said Alex. “I’ll go in the boot.” Having wedged himself in, he then decided he’d quite like to play us a tune. But this was tricky since he was upside down and could access only about half of his fretboard. To make matters worse, Mr Orbit was stuck between me, who’s quite long, and my girlfriend, who’s even longer. And yet after just five miles they had it cracked. And so we were whizzing through the lanes of Oxfordshire, with live music to keep us entertained. It was a happy night. Of course there are other large cars in which a brace of musicians could perform — many, in fact, if they are built like the Rolling Stones — but very few are so good at everything else as well. Let me give you an example. When you fill the tank in a normal car, you are informed by a readout on the dash that you have a range of … what? Three hundred miles? Three hundred and fifty? Well, after you fill the tank in the 530d, you’re told you can go 550 miles before you need to stop again. And that, if you hate filling stations as much as I do, is enough of a reason to sign on the dotted line. But there’s more. The head restraints in most cars are designed to be just that. Restraints. Tools to prevent you from becoming an insurance fraudster by complaining that you have whiplash. But in the BMW they are also headrests: big soft pillows into which you can nuzzle when Alex and William are serenading you with a gentle ballad. Or what about the sat nav system? In your car you have to sit there twiddling a knob to spell out where it is you’d like to go. You can do that in the BMW if you like living in the past. Or you can write it out longhand on the so-called touchpad — it works better if you are left-handed — or you can just say where you’d like to go. Three alternatives to do one thing. It’s the same with quite a few of the controls. You can either push a button or you can make a gesture. Seriously, you just wave your hand about and something happens. This car, then, has all the best tech to be found anywhere. In other cars you often find this blanket of electrical engineering sitting there like a distracting shroud to smother and blind the owner from some fairly ho-hum mechanical engineering — a hot sauce to mask the fact you’re eating a rat — but in the BMW that is emphatically not the case. If you turn off all the nannying systems that are on hand to stop you crashing, you find that it is the real deal. You sit there doing big, easily controlled smoky tail slides, thinking: “Er, I’m in a big five-seat diesel estate. How can this be possible?” And it’s the same story on the road. You know it’s a diesel that’s powering you because you heard the familiar clatter when you started. But now you can’t hear it at all. BMW has done something fancy here with the acoustics, because I’m not exaggerating. At a cruise the engine is silent. And not because it’s broken. You know this because when you put your foot down it’s as if you’ve been caught up in a giant wave of torque. The TwinPower turbo is spinning and the six pistons are causing God knows how many explosions a minute, but all you can hear are the tyres as you lunge — and you really do lunge — towards the next bend. And that’s something you’re looking forward to, because the steering is perfectly judged, the brakes haul down the speed with infinitely variable feel and, thanks to that four-wheel-drive system, there is almost never any understeer. It’s all just grip. Even when the snow falls. This has always been an Achilles heel for BMW. And no one is really sure why. But when the thermometer drops below zero, the first cars to slither into a ditch are always the Beemers. The xDrive system answers that, and now it’s available across the range, I’d tick the box, especially if I lived somewhere rural. At the very least it’ll be useful when you have a rock star in the boot and you’ve been directed to park in a muddy paddock. Finally, there’s the business of quality. BMW has always had to play second fiddle to Mercedes in this area, but I just don’t think that’s the case any more. If you push and pull all the trim in the 5-series, it feels as though you are pushing and pulling a barnacle that’s been welded in place. Everything gives the impression it’s there to stay. For ever. I could go on, but there’s no point, because until there is a breakthrough in what we drive and who drives it and what powers it and what controls it, this is as good as it gets. It’s 130 years of development brought together in a package that’s as faultless as current technology permits. Mercedes, Audi and Jaguar can sell you cars that are similar. But they simply don’t do everything quite as well as this BMW does. No other car does everything so well AT A GLANCE HANDLING: Five stars. COMFORT: Five stars. PERFORMANCE: Five stars. INTERIOR: Five stars. PRACTICALITY: Five stars. COSTS: Five stars. PROS Fits me, a driver, a girlfriend, two musicians and a couple of guitars Manages 550 miles between fill ups Superb levels of quality CONS Oh, do pay attention SPECIFICATIONS VARIANT: 530d xDrive M Sport Touring Auto PRICE: £52,305 ENGINE: 2,993cc, 6 cylinder, diesel POWER: 261bhp @ 4,000rpm TORQUE: 457 lb ft @ 2,000rpm TRANSMISSION: 8-speed auto with manual mode, four-wheel drive ACCELERATION: 0-62mph: 5.6sec TOP SPEED: 155mph FUEL: 51.4mpg CO2: 144g/km ROAD TAX BAND: £200 in first year; £450 years 2-6; £140 thereafter DIMENSIONS: 4,642mm x 1,868mm x 1,498mm RELEASE DATE: On sale now
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09-03-2017, 09:08 AM | #3 |
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It absolutely, truly is.
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The M850i is evidence that BMW have got their mojo back when it comes to dynamic sports cars...
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09-03-2017, 01:50 PM | #5 |
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09-03-2017, 05:42 PM | #6 | |
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The M850i is evidence that BMW have got their mojo back when it comes to dynamic sports cars...
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09-04-2017, 02:06 PM | #7 |
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Same although I think it is a bit weird that the LHD and RHD versions have such a large difference in engine with the new G30/31. I can't find any specs but I assume one is a single turbo 530d and one is twin sequential turbo 540d based.
The F10/11 and F30/31 both have 257kw and 700nm and from what I understand they have two turbos running off 3 cylinders each without any sequential or compound trickery, ie the same as the S55 and N54. The G30/31 LHDs are listed at 285kw and 800nm which is a reasonable gain over the previous model and I suspect they will be using B57 engines instead of N57 with the same two turbo off 3 cylinders each setup or base their engine of the 540d with increased boost. But the RHD ones are coming with only 240kw and 700nm, a downgrade from the current engine! Possibly it is a B57 with only a single large turbo, based on the 530d 195kw 620nm engine? I remember there being discussion around the 540d, M550i and M550d never coming to RHD markets, I guess this is related to that. At least in RHD markets we can get the B5 touring as an M5 alternative! |
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09-04-2017, 11:15 PM | #8 | |
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Here is what he said on the M4 GTS Excerpts from The Grand Tour's episode four: "... Now, at this point, I would normally use the word 'however' and start talking about the car's good points. However, I can't because I'm struggling to find any. The engine for instance has water-injection which sounds cool but it means that every third time you fill the car with fuel, you have to fill the water tank in the boot. I don't know but I'm not sure this is very high-tech." "And then there is the steering, which in comfort mode is horrid, and in sport setting is even more horrid." "This is not a car that responds well to my rather brutal driving style. The problem is it doesn't respond well to delicacy either." "This competition here between these two cars is like a boxing match between an actual boxer and someone who thinks they're a boxer because they're wearing satin shorts." "How did BMW get this thing so wrong?... It's twitchy, it's unpredictable. And in the rain it's somewhere between spiteful and undriveable." Good review on BMW > best reviewer ever Bad review on BMW > the guy can't drive, his opinion worthless Last edited by Phatcat; 09-05-2017 at 01:07 AM.. |
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09-05-2017, 06:05 AM | #9 | |
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I also think, like many other journalists, he sees the difference between cars which generate more emotion like the M4, vs. the sensible motors many of us drive. When assessed honestly, it is against different criteria. Over here in Europe something like the G31 530d xDrive wagon is a car which fills most needs, certainly rated as good as it gets. Many European motoring journalists rated the F11 wagon something like "the only car you would ever need", "one of the best all-round cars you can buy". The G31 moves the game on, so not surprised it is rated so highly. Last edited by HighlandPete; 09-05-2017 at 06:11 AM.. |
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09-05-2017, 03:06 PM | #10 |
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I can forgive some of Clarksons blokesy buffoonery as he can be quite amusing but in the Sunday Times a couple of weeks ago he described his recent bout of pneumonia and how despite smoking hundreds of thousands of cigarettes his lungs showed no evidence of damage so why stop smoking ? Highly irresponsible I would have thought
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09-06-2017, 01:46 AM | #11 | |
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09-06-2017, 09:46 AM | #12 |
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Then the not-offered-in-the-UK 540d xDrive (320hp) must be brilliant.
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09-09-2017, 02:49 PM | #13 | |
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It seems like the touring is quite short changed when it comes to engine options compared to the sedan though. Even in Germany you can't get a 540i 2wd, M550i, M550d options. The M550d in F11 guise would have been a fantastic option in Germany I'm sure. |
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