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      01-31-2020, 04:15 PM   #5215
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Originally Posted by Joekerr View Post
I just became poor. Seemed simpler.


No, but in seriousness, I think it is an issue. Not for me so much in that I wanted her to make as much as me or more, but rather that I just wanted to see that she had drive and ambition and worked hard.

And generally speaking, people with those attributes tend to hold down decent jobs, but it was more an attributes thing I was looking at.
Same here. As long as she is financially independent and knows how to live within her means....I'm okay.

My wife has a higher education than I do, but I make 5X the amount she does annually. But she had her own place and paid her own bills before we met.

Some jobs such as hers are focused on public service and helping others.....and public servants don't make anything close to what they deserve to make.
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      01-31-2020, 04:39 PM   #5216
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Originally Posted by premier3is View Post
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Update: met her for dinner yesterday. Looked like her pictures thankfully lol. I was going to FaceTime prior to meeting as it was suggested here but I had a good feeling she wasn't lying since she added me on her IG by accepting my request (her IG is private so that tells me in fact it is her).

Anyways, dinner went really well. Down to earth lady. Good job, not money hungry like these other girls I've seen, and has a Model 3 (not that her car matters but I can appreciate someone who doesn't drive beaters lol) Family oriented as well. Spent a good 3.5 hours with her, so I'd call that a good start? We may meet again soon, she lives around an hour from me.
That's a really good start.

For me it's been one or the other. They either look nothing like their pictures, or have zero personality.
I hear that's a pretty common case these days. When you say zero personality, how were you made aware of it? The usual lacking of quality engaging conversations or just a lack of enthusiasm?
Usually just terrible at conversation. I'm fairly outgoing, so I think part of it is them being nervous or shy. I think many of them just aren't that interesting. You ask them their hobbies, what they do for fun, what inspires them, etc, and they do nothing but sit on Facebook all day and like Instagram posts.
Lol that would lead me to never want to see them again. Ugh
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      01-31-2020, 04:44 PM   #5217
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Originally Posted by pennsiveguy View Post
Here's something I've wrestled with for years. Does a prospective partner's financial status, at least relative to your own, matter to you?

I've drifted all over the road on this one. Does it matter to me? (Yeah, kind of). If it does, when and how do I bring it up? How much of a difference in financial status can a couple withstand, without it becoming an issue at some point?

Would love to know how you folks have grappled with this.
This one is tough. I'd prefer to make more but in this day and age you never know who you're dealing with. If she makes more and you try to be financially wise and help make decisions, she may have an attitude and somehow make you feel it in a way that she makes more than you and she can do what she thinks is right (even if it's not in the best interest for the both of you). But hey I might be wrong
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      01-31-2020, 10:23 PM   #5218
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Originally Posted by pennsiveguy View Post
Here's something I've wrestled with for years. Does a prospective partner's financial status, at least relative to your own, matter to you?

I've drifted all over the road on this one. Does it matter to me? (Yeah, kind of). If it does, when and how do I bring it up? How much of a difference in financial status can a couple withstand, without it becoming an issue at some point?

Would love to know how you folks have grappled with this.
If anything, I care about being relatable. My background is different in that a trip to virtually anywhere in Europe is a no-visa, low-cost (time and money) journey. Especially if I/my family piggybacks off my dad when he is going on a business trip. At the risk of sounding very pretentious - you'd be surprised how many college aged girls have barely left their state. Sooooo many people I've met the farthest they've been from their house was the city, which is at most a 45min-1h drive from almost any suburb.

Or: (I've noticed guys do this more) not knowing how to use a knife to scoop up the last food bits. If anyone can explain that I'd greatly appreciate that


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Originally Posted by UncleWede View Post
No, I wouldn't take a hoe to the opera. But the expressions, the newness or those things that have maybe lost a little bit of their luster, shining thru her eyes.
primarily this^

Honestly I don't mind either way. Ideally the girl wouldn't be horrible with finances but at the end of the day if she makes more money than I do, then that's amazing. My good buddy is working at a mid-sized bank as a mortgage banker. He is in the process of selling his i8 and a few other cars (yes) to buy a 458 before March.

Now yes he is a hard working man, but his words: "transfer to a school with a med school and marry a cardiologist, it's amazing. they work long hours so you don't deal with their bs often and they make bank"


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Originally Posted by CTinline-six View Post
Usually just terrible at conversation. I'm fairly outgoing, so I think part of it is them being nervous or shy. I think many of them just aren't that interesting. You ask them their hobbies, what they do for fun, what inspires them, etc, and they do nothing but sit on Facebook all day and like Instagram posts.
Dude you know what's weird? I was thinking that too, either that they are nervous/shy and that in general they aren't interesting people. Over the summer though something happened and I guess I changed (somehow?) but lately I've been meeting much more driven and interesting people


On other news, at happy hour I overheard the best conversation:
Guy 1: "dude she's hot but she's dating (not him)"
Guy 2: "soccer is more fun when there's a goalie in the game, just shoot your shot bro"
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      02-01-2020, 08:53 PM   #5219
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Went on a first date to lunch. Ordered guacamole dip. Chic started talking about her STD tests, and heroin addict ex. Said she was waiting for the results. Last thing I want to discuss while eating guacamole dip is your fucking STD tests.
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      02-01-2020, 09:30 PM   #5220
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Originally Posted by Triple Seven View Post
Went on a first date to lunch. Ordered guacamole dip. Chic started talking about her STD tests, and heroin addict ex. Said she was waiting for the results. Last thing I want to discuss while eating guacamole dip is your fucking STD tests.


winner winner chicken dinner...

jesus.


bye felicia..
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      02-01-2020, 09:58 PM   #5221
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Originally Posted by Triple Seven View Post
Went on a first date to lunch. Ordered guacamole dip. Chic started talking about her STD tests, and heroin addict ex. Said she was waiting for the results. Last thing I want to discuss while eating guacamole dip is your fucking STD tests.
Jesus.... I would've just left. How old was she?
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      02-01-2020, 10:03 PM   #5222
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Originally Posted by pennsiveguy View Post
Here's something I've wrestled with for years. Does a prospective partner's financial status, at least relative to your own, matter to you?

I've drifted all over the road on this one. Does it matter to me? (Yeah, kind of). If it does, when and how do I bring it up? How much of a difference in financial status can a couple withstand, without it becoming an issue at some point?

Would love to know how you folks have grappled with this.
Oh man I think about this all the time. I feel in order to achieve my financial goals and enjoy life I'll have to marry a girl in the same profession as me. I'm used to a certain quality of life and don't want to go backward.

I know I sound shallow but being able to live in a nice house in a desirable city, having nice cars, going on nice vacations, eating at good restaurants, paying for my future childrens' college and other shit etc. matter a lot to me.

Beyond the added income, you know the girl grew up with similar values and has similar ambition/drive in life.
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      02-01-2020, 10:35 PM   #5223
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Originally Posted by Triple Seven View Post
Went on a first date to lunch. Ordered guacamole dip. Chic started talking about her STD tests, and heroin addict ex. Said she was waiting for the results. Last thing I want to discuss while eating guacamole dip is your fucking STD tests.
I'd argue that is the time to discuss this: you are given the warning before getting involved
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      02-01-2020, 10:45 PM   #5224
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Life is so much more peaceful and have a lot more money and time to do things that I want to do when I'm not dating. I seriously can not go back to the plantation for some ass. I find it better to just hire a pro for their services whenever I get the urges.
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      02-02-2020, 12:56 AM   #5225
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Originally Posted by ragingpanda View Post
Life is so much more peaceful and have a lot more money and time to do things that I want to do when I'm not dating. I seriously can not go back to the plantation for some ass. I find it better to just hire a pro for their services whenever I get the urges.



There's something eerily truthful about calling the dating environment a "plantation".
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      02-02-2020, 01:01 AM   #5226
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ragingpanda View Post
Life is so much more peaceful and have a lot more money and time to do things that I want to do when I'm not dating. I seriously can not go back to the plantation for some ass. I find it better to just hire a pro for their services whenever I get the urges.



There's something eerily truthful about calling the dating environment a "plantation".
Bro, the dating scene is wild these days from what I'm reading on here lol. Rinse and repeat until you burn out lmao.
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      02-02-2020, 01:06 AM   #5227
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Originally Posted by Sedan_Clan View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by ragingpanda View Post
Life is so much more peaceful and have a lot more money and time to do things that I want to do when I'm not dating. I seriously can not go back to the plantation for some ass. I find it better to just hire a pro for their services whenever I get the urges.



There's something eerily truthful about calling the dating environment a "plantation".
Bro, the dating scene is wild these days from what I'm reading on here lol. Rinse and repeat until you burn out lmao.
The rinse and repeat is so true.
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      02-02-2020, 08:57 AM   #5228
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Originally Posted by Triple Seven View Post
Went on a first date to lunch. Ordered guacamole dip. Chic started talking about her STD tests, and heroin addict ex. Said she was waiting for the results. Last thing I want to discuss while eating guacamole dip is your fucking STD tests.


WTF

She'll probably also blame you and your selfishness for not wanting to get involved with her.
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      02-02-2020, 09:59 AM   #5229
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Originally Posted by Triple Seven View Post
Went on a first date to lunch. Ordered guacamole dip. Chic started talking about her STD tests, and heroin addict ex. Said she was waiting for the results. Last thing I want to discuss while eating guacamole dip is your fucking STD tests.
Mmmmhhh. I so love when I get guac all over my fingers. Want to lick it off???


Why are you running away?
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      02-02-2020, 01:17 PM   #5230
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pennsiveguy View Post
Here's something I've wrestled with for years. Does a prospective partner's financial status, at least relative to your own, matter to you?

I've drifted all over the road on this one. Does it matter to me? (Yeah, kind of). If it does, when and how do I bring it up? How much of a difference in financial status can a couple withstand, without it becoming an issue at some point?

Would love to know how you folks have grappled with this.
It can depend on your own circumstances. Where I am today if I only dated people with my income/net worth, it would be a very small pool, and they would probably think "I can easily get a guy younger and hotter than you".

One I dated years ago was sort of bothered by it - she couldn't afford the restaurants I wanted to go to. But we did go to her local (and cheap) Korean place she loved (it was good). In the end we agreed that she pay when we went there, and I'd pay elsewhere which was good - she didn't have to feel bad, and *I* got to go to some restaurants I enjoy too.

So while some degree of parity where they can contribute (first class tickets for 2 to Europe don't come cheap!) would be good but I think there's many things that would come before that for me. Things like has a pulse, likes me, can sleep through heavy snoring - minor things like that.
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      02-02-2020, 01:31 PM   #5231
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Originally Posted by dinonz View Post
It can depend on your own circumstances. Where I am today if I only dated people with my income/net worth, it would be a very small pool, and they would probably think "I can easily get a guy younger and hotter than you".
Yeah, same situation with me. I was happy that the most recent GF made almost as much as I do, which made her pretty rare. It took financial strain and disparity out of the picture. But we still found tons of shit to fight about, so the financial piece is just that - a piece.

And I haven't run into the "cougar/boy-toy" effect, but I don't doubt its existence. I can't imagine such an "arrangement" being emotionally satisfying, but if she's really shallow and that's what she wants, she'll find it. Such a woman wouldn't be of interest to me anyway, so not a loss for me.
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      02-02-2020, 02:02 PM   #5232
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Originally Posted by ragingpanda View Post
Life is so much more peaceful and have a lot more money and time to do things that I want to do when I'm not dating. I seriously can not go back to the plantation for some ass. I find it better to just hire a pro for their services whenever I get the urges.
I feel similarly. Getting to my late 20s and seeing more of my boys getting into relationships. Seems like too much effort and too much of being one another's emotional tampon. I'll take it seriously when I meet a girl who has LTR potential. Otherwise not gonna waste my time and money, would rather spend my time on my own hobbies and with friends.
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      02-02-2020, 03:18 PM   #5233
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Originally Posted by CTinline-six View Post
Financial status no, but yes to drive and ambition. I have no issue paying for dates with the person I'm seeing if they hit hard times, or if they are going to school. There are a lot of people my age who are in that in-between stage of working an entry level job, paying off student loans, rent, car payments, etc.

There is a big difference between someone who is hard working and smart with money and someone who is just lazy or a big spender. I have a few friends who have very good jobs, but couldn't budget to save their life. They might appear to be doing well but inside they are drowning in debt.
Agree 100%. I have far more admiration for someone who makes very little but works their ass off and is the best at what they do, than I have for someone who has a lot of resources - talent, money, connections - but squanders them and leads a pointless and selfish and self-destructive life.
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      02-02-2020, 07:19 PM   #5234
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WTF

She'll probably also blame you and your selfishness for not wanting to get involved with her.
Basically did. But also sent me a nude pic to try and sway my no decision lol.
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      02-02-2020, 07:39 PM   #5235
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Basically did. But also sent me a nude pic to try and sway my no decision lol.

Picture isn't loading....
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      02-02-2020, 07:56 PM   #5236
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Basically did. But also sent me a nude pic to try and sway my no decision lol.
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