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      05-30-2016, 10:52 AM   #309
CANGRKE70
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I once dated a girl for 2 months who thought I was from New Zealand. I had to change my voicemail to keep up the charade. It ended badly. :P
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      05-30-2016, 01:58 PM   #310
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Last night, I dreamt about going to the car wash. The hell is wrong with me?
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      05-30-2016, 03:10 PM   #311
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I once left a scathing review of customer service in the general E9X M forum...
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She stood there. Pointed a finger at me and laughed at me. That damn bitch.
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Poop shit, shit and poop. I'm mildly angry now.
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      05-30-2016, 03:45 PM   #312
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I dont fuck around at work ?
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BMW have tapped into this by mirroring typical BMW dynamics and steering communication within the new UKL cars.
You mean massive body roll, a steering system that is not connected to the front wheels, and the engine note played through the speaker system?!?!?!?!
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      05-30-2016, 04:06 PM   #313
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Every time a bird shits on my car I eat a plate of scrambled eggs on my porch to show them what I am capable of.
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      05-30-2016, 11:09 PM   #314
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I screwed a lady cop to get out of ticket like Lil wayne.
Video or it didn't happen!
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      05-30-2016, 11:17 PM   #315
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I pretend to sleep on the Subway then give up my seat...I'll sometimes fake snore to add to the ruse.

I once acted insane on a bus by rocking back and forth and using my fingers in a chop stick motion catching flies and told the passenger sitting next to me that "I sometime clip my toenails and then bake a cake, put them in and eat it." In my defense, he smelled like some serious BO first thing in the morning. Instant free seat for the rest of the 20 minute ride. One guy figured it out, and before getting off the bus looked at me and said, "well played sir, well played."
I hope your kidding. Man I don't know what to believe in this thread anymore, its got so out of hand lol
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      05-30-2016, 11:28 PM   #316
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Well I might as well share a story that's only been told a hand full of times! It was july fourth and me and my girlfriend (now ex) started to escalate in my grandma's basement. Things got out of hand and the next thing I knew, I grabbed some lube I found in a drawer, put it on and started having great sex until things started to get "stuck". I read the label on the "lube" to find out it was super glue..... It wasn't a good day to say the least.
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      05-31-2016, 07:38 PM   #317
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      05-31-2016, 10:11 PM   #318
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I tire of people quickly.
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      05-31-2016, 11:23 PM   #319
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I once dreamt of a cabbage being dropped into a bowl of milk. I awoke in a cold sweat once the milk splashed in my face. I then proceeded to iron my socks at 3am.
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      05-31-2016, 11:45 PM   #320
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The last few months, I've gone on dates with amazing/beautiful women with absolutely no intention of getting into a relationship. I take them out, learn about them, have fun, then, right when I feel we're getting to the point where we'd decide whether we want to get into a relationship, handwrite them a poem about them, send it to em, and cut it off.

Never speak to them again.

It's kinda fun, tbh lol.
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      05-31-2016, 11:56 PM   #321
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I once dreamt that I had my armpit hair highlighted and braided.
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      06-01-2016, 12:05 AM   #322
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I once dreamt that I had my armpit hair highlighted and braided.
Plot Twist: Duck Fat has no body hair...


I just realized that you have a very funny name if you switch the first two letters in each word.
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      06-01-2016, 04:53 AM   #323
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It was me that farted in line at Walmart, not the old lady behind me that I scowled at.
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      06-01-2016, 05:20 AM   #324
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It was me that farted in line at Walmart, not the old lady behind me that I scowled at.
I blame the dogs.

I hate most of my friends. I can't stand being social.

I'm seriously thinking about going back to university now, and I I know the spouse is gonna love this. At 33 I think I may have a clue what I would love to do in my life.

Great!
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You're still a little new here, so I'll let you in on a little secret. Whenever Lups types gibberish, this is an opportunity for you to imagine it to be whatever you'd like it to be.
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How would you know this? Did mommy catch you jerking off to some Big Foot porn ?
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      06-01-2016, 05:27 AM   #325
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lups View Post
I blame the dogs.

I hate most of my friends. I can't stand being social.

I'm seriously thinking about going back to university now, and I I know the spouse is gonna love this. At 33 I think I may have a clue what I would love to do in my life.

Great!
I used to always blame the animals, now that there are none around, I have to blame surrounding people and make a disgusted look in their direction. Seems to work, for now.

Go back to uni, learn things, if you know what you want to do, grab it by the balls and run with it. If I'm not mistaken though, uni is a social environment..., blah
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      06-01-2016, 05:34 AM   #326
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Axius View Post
I used to always blame the animals, now that there are none around, I have to blame surrounding people and make a disgusted look in their direction. Seems to work, for now.

Go back to uni, learn things, if you know what you want to do, grab it by the balls and run with it. If I'm not mistaken though, uni is a social environment..., blah
I have five years of sitting there behind me, so I'd need to figure out if I could get any of my credits transferred. Though I've been lucky in life and my business and finance studies have worked for me, I think social work field would be more my thing for the real life job. I can stand addicts and disabled people and old folks but fml if I have to hang out with finance dudes.
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You're still a little new here, so I'll let you in on a little secret. Whenever Lups types gibberish, this is an opportunity for you to imagine it to be whatever you'd like it to be.
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Originally Posted by Delta0311 View Post
How would you know this? Did mommy catch you jerking off to some Big Foot porn ?
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      06-01-2016, 05:45 AM   #327
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lups View Post
I have five years of sitting there behind me, so I'd need to figure out if I could get any of my credits transferred. Though I've been lucky in life and my business and finance studies have worked for me, I think social work field would be more my thing for the real life job. I can stand addicts and disabled people and old folks but fml if I have to hang out with finance dudes.
I don't see any reason why they wouldn't, although its locationally dependent. Transferring to Wake only a handful of mine would have, so it'd be taking back steps.

Ugh finance. When I see Biorin and ASBSECU talk about capital gains, inland revenue, amortizations, ratio analysis, and such makes my head spin.
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      06-01-2016, 05:59 AM   #328
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Axius View Post
I don't see any reason why they wouldn't, although its locationally dependent. Transferring to Wake only a handful of mine would have, so it'd be taking back steps.

Ugh finance. When I see Biorin and ASBSECU talk about capital gains, inland revenue, amortizations, ratio analysis, and such makes my head spin.
Lol, that all is fine but it's too damn social. I can't picture myself sitting in meetings. I'd rather be in a booth never talking to anyone or in the field.
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You're still a little new here, so I'll let you in on a little secret. Whenever Lups types gibberish, this is an opportunity for you to imagine it to be whatever you'd like it to be.
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Originally Posted by Delta0311 View Post
How would you know this? Did mommy catch you jerking off to some Big Foot porn ?
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      06-01-2016, 07:00 AM   #329
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Lol, that all is fine but it's too damn social. I can't picture myself sitting in meetings. I'd rather be in a booth never talking to anyone or in the field.
You could be a toll booth attendant! Plus, think of all the Audi's you would be able to spit on!
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      06-01-2016, 07:30 AM   #330
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Quote:
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It was me that farted in line at Walmart, not the old lady behind me that I scowled at.
On the topic of farting. One time at Costco, some butt nugget stole my parking spot so I spent half an hour hunting him down and crop dusting him through an entire aisle.
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