Official Virtanen Industries F8X Shifter Cozie DIY Installation Guide

[farbmw]

Mine is still on back order.

[aboulfad]

only when I saw that hand drawn dyno chart that I realized this was a joke thanks

[Lups]

Originally Posted by M4TW

Sorry to dredge this up in the middle of summer, but I just stumbled on this and I am intrigued by this mod.

First of all, to the OP for his informative review and DIY instructions. Before pulling the trigger on this mod, however, I do have a few questions:

1. Are there any before and after dynos to verify the manufacturer's performance claims?
   
2. How easy is it to uninstall (do you have to leave it on during the summer)?
   
3. Is there an install and uninstall video I can download?
   
4. How long does the installation procedure take, start to finish?
   
5. Can you substitute installation hardware, or do you have use exactly the ones depicted?
   
6. Do you have to uninstall it before taking your car in to be serviced in order to avoid voiding your warranty?
   
7. If you do uninstall it, can BMW still void your warranty if they find wool thread residue on your shifter?
   
8. Does the purchase contract require that you to arbitrate any warranty disputes in Finland?
   
9. Does the manufacturer certify that all her knitting has been approved by at least one inebriated old lady?
   
10. If I am not comfortable installing this myself, how much would a shop charge me?
    
11. Is there a DCT version?

Thanks in advance!

First of all, manufacturer has not said anything about dyno numbers, though members who have shown us reliable looking data swear by this. I have been told that many of the big tuning companies have tried to start a production line around these but apparently grannies who approve this kind of hp increase are hard to find. All I know for sure is that at summer time, my car is very slow.

Bmw is strict with modifications. I would not recommend taking any car to service with this still on. Anyone who is not accustomed to this kind of power could crash by accident, and if you don't report all that has been done, you'd likely lose your warranty.

Manufacturer can only be sued in Finland, since her lawyer who works for free lives there. All claims have to be made in Finnish also.

There have been some moderate offers made, the op got the mentioned range of 5 000 -5 001 dollars, but I know for sure one member was offered a deal of less than 4 501. I can not mention the exact sum, it could potentially hurt businesses everywhere.

Real issues have been reported with the dct production line. Reliable members have complained about fitment issues, and the manufacturer has with all politeness that is required to keep this business blooming answered the complaints. The report that was made by an independent company shows, that the issue is the clients. Apparently Americans with dct's in theirs are pussies, and they better drive Nissan's in demanding conditions. Also, it seems mw as the color rebels against anything cool.

As the spokes person for this wonderful product, a valuable one as you can see from the customs stamp, I would advice you not to get one. I didn't find one apology in your post, so in heart you must be an American. Your installation would require our technician to deliver and to install it personally, and that would pump up the overall cost for you to a whole pint of beer. Our marketing team is headed to Canada in a few weeks, so you have time to reconsider this still.

[Lups]

Originally Posted by farbmw

Mine is still on back order.

Not true. It has been in my glove box for months, with your M hat. Email me again the address and it will be sent this week with a complimentary parking brake cover.

Your patience will be rewarded.

[farbmw]

Originally Posted by Lups

Not true. It has been in my glove box for months, with your M hat. Email me again the address and it will be sent this week with a complimentary parking brake cover.

Your patience will be rewarded.

LOL ok if I can find your e-mail address again.

[Lups]

Originally Posted by aboulfad

only when I saw that hand drawn dyno chart that I realized this was a joke thanks

I'm sad to report, it is not. They actually bullied me in to making these.

Damnit.

It was all for good fun, but there are ten people with shift knob covers made of yarns that cost more than gold because I opened my big mouth and called our members who live in cold climate pussies with no problem solving skills.

Well, their problem sure was solved, and I learned how to knit weird patterns and shapes.

[aboulfad]

Do you make the DCT version? That I hope will help my car grow a clutch pedal :

[myzmak]

Originally Posted by aboulfad

only when I saw that hand drawn dyno chart that I realized this was a joke thanks

Hand drawn?!?!

What are you Implying?!?!

I paid big money for that dyno!

State of the art, I was told!

Originally Posted by Lups

I'm sad to report, it is not. They actually bullied me in to making these.

Damnit.

It was all for good fun, but there are ten people with shift knob covers made of yarns that cost more than gold because I opened my big mouth and called our members who live in cold climate pussies with no problem solving skills.

Well, their problem sure was solved, and I learned how to knit weird patterns and shapes.

Bullied is a strong word lups.

I mean, a word that applies here, but still a strong one

[Lups]

Originally Posted by aboulfad

Do you make the DCT version? That I hope will help my car grow a clutch pedal :

We have had issues with dct products. Is yours mw by any chance?

[aboulfad]

Originally Posted by Lups

We have had issues with dct products. Is yours mw by any chance?

No no! MG, but should it be MW? is that a better combination w the shifter cozie?

[Lups]

Originally Posted by myzmak

Hand drawn?!?!

What are you Implying?!?!

I paid big money for that dyno!

State of the art, I was told!



Bullied is a strong word lups.

I mean, a word that applies here, but still a strong one

The skeptics are everywhere. He clearly does not understand the beauty behind our ingenuity. It's okay, if he sues me, I'll blame you, and you'll probably get an other beer out of this.

The beauty of this thread has always been how simple solutions in issues any car manufacturer would end up spending millions on are. I truly believe many folks who spend their time complaining about minor issues and blame them on BMW, could learn from this. As stupid as this is: As a solution, it does work.

By far, this is my favorite thread here. I got really good laughs with the reread again.

[Lups]

Originally Posted by aboulfad

No no! MG, but should it be MW? is that a better combination w the shifter cozie?

No, you'd probably manage. Mw drivers in this generation have had abnormal amount of issues, but as said, the research shows its them, not the product. An unsatisfied customer is texting me right now, and complaining. Total drama queens.

I'll make you one for being an excellent sport! A sense of humor is too rare these days.

[aboulfad]

You guys (and gals) are just loco indeed this was a very enjoyable thread and I am going to bed with a smile and dreaming that the fairy lady will make me a M DCT cozie bonne nuit.

[Lups]

Originally Posted by aboulfad

You guys (and gals) are just loco indeed this was a very enjoyable thread and I am going to bed with a smile and dreaming that the fairy lady will make me a M DCT cozie bonne nuit.

Oh hell yes we are! But in the end of days we have solved a problem nobody would bother to complain about if not a car geek, and we kicked the problems ass in a way that makes us looks even geekier than before.

Don't let the yarn bugs bite...

[Wah]

Originally Posted by Lups

No, you'd probably manage. Mw drivers in this generation have had abnormal amount of issues, but as said, the research shows its them, not the product. An unsatisfied customer is texting me right now, and complaining. Total drama queens.

I'll make you one for being an excellent sport! A sense of humor is too rare these days.

It's not me, and its not the MW!!! I swear!!! The thing is too small to be a DCT cozy, and to short to be a e-brake warmer.

From pg. 1.

[M4TW]

That dyno almost had me convinced. I mean the stock curve just flattens out, whereas the cozy tune goes through the roof. Here I was looking forward to to being able to keep my car in first gear, all the time. But seeing as how the company apparently will not sell to closet Americans, driving mineral white cars with DCT's, I'll just have to spend my modding dollar somewhere else.

[Lups]

Originally Posted by Wah

It's not me, and its not the MW!!! I swear!!! The thing is too small to be a DCT cozy, and to short to be a e-brake warmer.

From pg. 1.

Upper body muscle strength! Stretch it! You damn man have tried to ruin the image of perfection given to this mod, and it will not fly! I will report you if you do not stop accusing the company of poor build quality.

[Lups]

Originally Posted by M4TW

That dyno almost had me convinced. I mean the stock curve just flattens out, whereas the cozy tune goes through the roof. Here I was looking forward to to being able to keep my car in first gear, all the time. But seeing as how the company apparently will not sell to closet Americans, driving mineral white cars with DCT's, I'll just have to spend my modding dollar somewhere else.

Usually, this is the strict policy but since you are the member who made the production line happen by standing up to her when she showed up here, yours will be hand crafted to perfection, even if a strong disapproving vibe can be seen towards your options.

I calculated the cots of making one, and if we leave out the fact that I have no talents so these all are never made on the first try, with shipping, they'd still be over 40bucks with free labor. Sadly, the resale value will never hit the dollar mark shown in the shipping info.

*Bimmerpost is very strict with their vendor policy, so I must mention this again: Only the geekiest of the cool folks are deemed worthy of one, and they receive theirs for absolutely free. All costs are covered by me.*

[aboulfad]

Originally Posted by Wah

It's not me, and its not the MW!!! I swear!!! The thing is too small to be a DCT cozy, and to short to be a e-brake warmer.

From pg. 1.
...

Ahhh so that's you ! It's evident as an MW owner that you didn't for installation instructions and as such us DCT owners can't benefit from this unique hand made sartoria garment, "Made in Finland"

[2HIGH~PSI]

Originally Posted by Lups

Turns out Canadians are funny and here I thought for years your biggest accomplishment was confusing the rest of the world with your weird bacon.

Hey! Whats wrong with our round bacon?

Originally Posted by Lups

We have had issues with dct products. Is yours mw by any chance?

Hey! Whats wrong with MW...?

Originally Posted by Lups

Usually, this is the strict policy but since you are the member who made the production line happen by standing up to her when she showed up here, yours will be hand crafted to perfection, even if a strong disapproving vibe can be seen towards your options.

I calculated the cots of making one, and if we leave out the fact that I have no talents so these all are never made on the first try, with shipping, they'd still be over 40bucks with free labor. Sadly, the resale value will never hit the dollar mark shown in the shipping info.

*Bimmerpost is very strict with their vendor policy, so I must mention this again: Only the geekiest of the cool folks are deemed worthy of one, and they receive theirs for absolutely free. All costs are covered by me.*

Wait.... Is this an unofficial announcement that Virtanen Industries is launching a DCT version of the Cozy for Canadian customers only?

[Lups]

Originally Posted by 2HIGH~PSI

Hey! Whats wrong with our round bacon?

Hey! Whats wrong with MW...?

Wait.... Is this an unofficial announcement that Virtanen Industries is launching a DCT version of the Cozy for Canadian customers only?

I am sorry but your bacon is like a product formed by a committee. A good idea in theory, but tastes awful. It is something we Finns would come up with.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with mineral white. Dentists all over the world love it. Sadly, cool modifications such as this are in such a high demand, we can limit our customer base. After an independent study was made to show why certain customers were experiencing abnormal amount of issues in their installation, the study clearly showed it is the fault of the paint. Our support line is still getting whining calls from the last shipment.

A.I.V. prides itself on our fabulous tech support on all issues that concern our products, but the study shows clearly, this product can not be paired with an American owner and mineral white.

Dct warmer line has encountered many difficulties over the months. It appears the dct owners who provide the measurements under or over estimate the size of their stick. This can only happen if they don't use theirs, so we feel they would benefit from a pair of gloves more.

[Wah]

Originally Posted by Lups

I am sorry but your bacon is like a product formed by a committee. A good idea in theory, but tastes awful. It is something we Finns would come up with.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with mineral white. Dentists all over the world love it. Sadly, cool modifications such as this are in such a high demand, we can limit our customer base. After an independent study was made to show why certain customers were experiencing abnormal amount of issues in their installation, the study clearly showed it is the fault of the paint. Our support line is still getting whining calls from the last shipment.

A.I.V. prides itself on our fabulous tech support on all issues that concern our products, but the study shows clearly, this product can not be paired with an American owner and mineral white.

Dct warmer line has encountered many difficulties over the months. It appears the dct owners who provide the measurements under or over estimate the size of their stick. This can only happen if they don't use theirs, so we feel they would benefit from a pair of gloves more.

I really think it was an error at the packing and shipping division of A.I.V. Industries. We are all well aware of the shipping delays that have plagued the launch of this product, and we know that this division is a weakness in an otherwise promising company. I am convinced that the 14y.o. high school student/intern that was put in charge of packing accidentally placed a climate control knob warmer in my package.



See? Perfect fit. Stop blaming white cars!