Humour gets us through.....

beemerbird · 12-18-2008, 05:03 AM

A heightened security level recently implemented at work has produced this light hearted piss take:

As many are aware, the French government recently announced a raise in its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide". The normal level is "General Arrogance", and the only two higher levels in France are "Surrender" and "Collaborate". The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.

It's not only the French that are on a heightened level of alert: Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing". Two more levels remain, "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides".

The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdain" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs". They have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose".

Seeing this reaction in continental Europe, the Americans have gone from "Isolationism" to "Find Another Oil-Rich Nation For Regime Change". Their remaining higher alert states are "Attack Random Countries (Ideally Those Without Any Credible Military)" and "Beg The British For Help".

The British are also feeling the pinch in relation to recent bombing threats and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved". Soon though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross". Londoners have not been "A Bit Cross" since the Blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance". The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the Great Fire of London in 1666.

booforty · 12-18-2008, 07:40 AM

Very good Helen

ed335d · 12-18-2008, 09:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by booforty

Very good Helen

+1, cheered my up, almost as much as the thought of finishing work in about 90 mins and going back on the 5th

beemerbird · 12-18-2008, 10:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ed335d

almost as much as the thought of finishing work in about 90 mins and going back on the 5th

What

bloody outrageous lol. What do you do for a living?

ed335d · 12-18-2008, 10:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by beemerbird

What

bloody outrageous lol. What do you do for a living?

Tough like isn't it?!

I'm in the glitzy and slightly dangerous world of IT consultancy

SoYank · 12-18-2008, 05:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by beemerbird

What

bloody outrageous lol. What do you do for a living?

Apparently not much.

ed335d · 12-19-2008, 08:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SoYank

Apparently not much.

Harsh. But fair.

marriedblonde · 12-19-2008, 08:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ed335d

Tough like isn't it?!

I'm in the glitzy and slightly dangerous world of IT consultancy

You obvioulsy don't do it on a contract basis

beemerbird · 12-20-2008, 12:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ed335d

Tough like isn't it?!

I'm in the glitzy and slightly dangerous world of IT consultancy

Tough job..........but someone has to do it eh.

Bet you take far more risks than I do in my rather boring but stable employment.

Are you bored yet btw?

ed335d · 12-20-2008, 12:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by beemerbird

Tough job..........but someone has to do it eh.

Bet you take far more risks than I do in my rather boring but stable employment.

Are you bored yet btw?

Thankfully it's not too risky!

Bored - hell no. Went out Thursday night (bumped into SerJames), wrote off yesterday. Wonderful.

beemerbird · 12-20-2008, 01:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ed335d

Thankfully it's not too risky!

Bored - hell no. Went out Thursday night (bumped into SerJames), wrote off yesterday. Wonderful.

Good!

Didn't think you would be.........I was being facetious (humour). Obviously got pi$$ed then.

2 days to go for me. Bloody Government won't 'shut down' departments even though in my case most of the solicitors are doing sod all.

ed335d · 12-20-2008, 01:43 PM

Maybe got a little tipsy - I think it could have been the half bottle of sambuca when I got home

beemerbird · 12-20-2008, 01:58 PM

Half a bottle

That rather delicious Italian aniseed-flavoured liqueur is normally served in small shots is it not lol.

Did you 'set it on fire' as well to increase the flavour.

ed335d · 12-21-2008, 06:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by beemerbird

Half a bottle

That rather delicious Italian aniseed-flavoured liqueur is normally served in small shots is it not lol.

Did you 'set it on fire' as well to increase the flavour.

Yup, just lots of small shots. Rather fortunate that I wasn't lighting them, judging by the amount that I managed to spill over the work surface and kitchen floor - could have got a little toasty

beemerbird · 12-21-2008, 12:33 PM

Just read that - toasty, great saying.

You could have created a blue flame running around the kitchen work surfaces ........... maybe not I suppose.......would have been impressive though, one of those 'everything happened in slow motion' events.

12-18-2008, 05:03 AM	#1
beemerbird Major General 172 Rep 7,953 Posts Drives: Merc diesel Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Yorkshire iTrader: (0) Garage List 2010 TTRS [9.00] 2007 Audi S5 [0.00] May 2007 Porsche 99 ... [0.00] March 2007 Porsche ... [0.00] Sep. 2007 E92 335d SE [0.00] July 2006 E90 330i ... [0.00]	Humour gets us through..... A heightened security level recently implemented at work has produced this light hearted piss take: As many are aware, the French government recently announced a raise in its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide". The normal level is "General Arrogance", and the only two higher levels in France are "Surrender" and "Collaborate". The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability. It's not only the French that are on a heightened level of alert: Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing". Two more levels remain, "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides". The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdain" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs". They have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose". Seeing this reaction in continental Europe, the Americans have gone from "Isolationism" to "Find Another Oil-Rich Nation For Regime Change". Their remaining higher alert states are "Attack Random Countries (Ideally Those Without Any Credible Military)" and "Beg The British For Help". The British are also feeling the pinch in relation to recent bombing threats and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved". Soon though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross". Londoners have not been "A Bit Cross" since the Blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance". The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the Great Fire of London in 1666.
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12-18-2008, 07:40 AM	#2
booforty Major General 337 Rep 8,811 Posts Drives: E92 M3 Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: London, UK iTrader: (0) Garage List 2008 E92 M3 [0.00]	Very good Helen
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12-20-2008, 01:43 PM	#12
ed335d Major General 141 Rep 6,912 Posts Drives: E92 M3 Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Surrey, UK iTrader: (3)	Maybe got a little tipsy - I think it could have been the half bottle of sambuca when I got home __________________ E92 M3, Jerez Black, Fox Red Novillo, 19'' M Double Spoke, folding mirrors, lumbar support, front seat heating, PDC, USB, DAB, EDC, Bluetooth, Logic 7, High Gloss Shadowline, big smile
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12-20-2008, 01:58 PM	#13
beemerbird Major General 172 Rep 7,953 Posts Drives: Merc diesel Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Yorkshire iTrader: (0) Garage List 2010 TTRS [9.00] 2007 Audi S5 [0.00] May 2007 Porsche 99 ... [0.00] March 2007 Porsche ... [0.00] Sep. 2007 E92 335d SE [0.00] July 2006 E90 330i ... [0.00]	Half a bottle That rather delicious Italian aniseed-flavoured liqueur is normally served in small shots is it not lol. Did you 'set it on fire' as well to increase the flavour.
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12-21-2008, 12:33 PM	#15
beemerbird Major General 172 Rep 7,953 Posts Drives: Merc diesel Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Yorkshire iTrader: (0) Garage List 2010 TTRS [9.00] 2007 Audi S5 [0.00] May 2007 Porsche 99 ... [0.00] March 2007 Porsche ... [0.00] Sep. 2007 E92 335d SE [0.00] July 2006 E90 330i ... [0.00]	Just read that - toasty, great saying. You could have created a blue flame running around the kitchen work surfaces ........... maybe not I suppose.......would have been impressive though, one of those 'everything happened in slow motion' events.
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