| 12-09-2010, 03:58 PM | #1 |
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So apparently some old prunes think my "last saturday" story was offensive and irressponsible. If you are easily offended here is the PG version. if you think you can handle the R version after this, go here and have a read.
http://www.e90post.com/forums/showthread.php?t=463424 Last Saturday... Me and my mate went out to a club to have a rest from our exhausting talks about god and careers, because the parking attendant said it was a rather dashing place. I had a glass of pineapple juice with a hint of lime, because I am not suppose to drink, it was quite splendid. My mate had half a pint of lager, because he was uncomfortable with this promiscuous women staring at us and winking the whole time. I personally think it's because of the nice new jumper I had on that my mum purchased for me last week at JC Penny. We got up to leave after an hour because the loud music was hurting our ears, what's a "G6" anyways? We should be getting home soon anyways because it was already 9 and I want to catch the late night shows in my pajamas and snuggie! When we got up to leave, this scantily dressed woman (the one that likes my jumper) approached me and asked me if I want to buy her a drink. I said "OK, bartender, another glass of pineapple juice for this nice young lady here." She didn't drink it, I think she might be allergic to pineapples. I should've asked first, how boorish of me. She then started to lick her lips while staring at me, so I offered her my chapstick to make up for my cheeky behavior prior. She said "ahh...no thanks." Then proceeded to ask me if I wanted to "fuck" while rubbing her hands all over my sensitive area. She was really pretty, so I said, "o thank you, but how about you give me your address so I can write you letters and sonnets and we can court and when we get married we can have each other for the first time...it would be truly marvelous." she gave me this look which I can only describe as admiration and then said "fucking f@g?". I said "no thanks, I don't smoke because it's bad for me." She left angrily, I feel like I said something wrong... We get to the car and I reminded my mate he shouldn't drive because he had that half pint an hour and 13 minutes ago...o wait...wait...wait...make that 1 hour and 14 minutes ago! HA HA HA, we both snicker at my witty comment. We can't be too careful these days. He happily thanked me for my kind reminders and we promptly hailed a cab home, it was $350 because we live more than 70 miles away, but it was worth it for a piece of mind I always say. I paid for it, because the poor chap has to pay another $350 tomorrow to get back to his car. I got back to my flat, switched into my pajamas and had a wonderful night of sleep. The next morning I woke up alone like I always have but I do feel extra refreshed, and it was quite a beautiful Sunday so I said "o what a great day to do something rather dashing!" So I decided to grab my beloved pooch and fucked it in the ass. O what a fantastic way to end a splendid weekend. Cheers mate Last edited by samwoo2go; 12-09-2010 at 04:17 PM.. |
| 12-09-2010, 04:05 PM | #3 |
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I dont get why people get offensive? What did you say that offensive?
You did somethn wrong and you learned from it. Simple.
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| 12-09-2010, 04:16 PM | #7 | |
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| 12-09-2010, 04:18 PM | #8 | |
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| 12-09-2010, 04:32 PM | #9 |
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haha. Seriously why would they read it if they find it offensive. If you dont like it dont read it stop bit*hing. I find it very entertaining especially with long work hours.
 haha keep up the good work. |
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| 12-09-2010, 04:36 PM | #10 | |
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Can you please clarify that I was not included in that "Old Prune" batch you are referring to? ...Thanks, man ...and Cool Story Bro  |
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| 12-09-2010, 05:24 PM | #11 | ||
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| 12-09-2010, 05:49 PM | #13 | |
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| 12-09-2010, 07:45 PM | #16 | |
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Canada FTW.
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| 12-09-2010, 07:59 PM | #17 |
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Some say...
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hahaha epic
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| 12-09-2010, 08:08 PM | #20 | |
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| 12-09-2010, 08:19 PM | #21 | |
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